Trauma in Children What You Can Do to Help
[Music]
[Applause]
20 seconds
that’s how long i’ve been standing here
silent
and according to who’s predictions for
the year 2020
in that time someone somewhere has died
by suicide
and the next person might be your child
in 2017 the who declared
adolescent suicide a global public
health crisis
in the year 2020 the american academy of
pediatrics
declared youth suicide a national and a
global public health crisis
in the next 12 minutes we’re going to
discuss youth suicide
and try to understand why our kids kill
themselves
and i’ll teach you three things you can
do to help curb that pandemic
no pun intended but let me first state
that this talk might trigger some strong
emotions in some of us
that said people ask me all the time why
did i become a pediatrician
and i say it’s simple i love kids
then i had kids and between their boys
shenanigans and
sibling rivalry i realized that i can’t
protect my kids from childhood trauma
especially numero trace over there like
their parents divorce
or the effect of the domestic abuse
their mother endured
or from who i am as a result of my own
childhood trauma
you see you can’t see by looking at me
but when i was nine years old
i was lured into a cornfield by a
friendly adult neighbor
i remember him pushing me onto the
ground and laying on top of me
i can still feel the grass and the
leaves scratching my skin
the smell of raw corn the taste and
grittiness of sand in my mouth and
between my teeth
as i try to scream but no sound came out
you know i never really talk about that
most people don’t know about that
like most adults i’m largely silent
about the traumas that i’ve endured
like the near daily bullying in
elementary school on the bus
or racial profiling in america
or my rape in medical school
but one cold november morning in 2015
i swear all the ghosts of my trauma’s
past were chasing me down the highway in
san antonio texas
i was going at over 85 miles an hour my
thoughts and my heart were racing just
as fast
i had no seat belt on the rooftop of my
convertible was down
i was trying to go see god i was looking
for an
opening
anyone who ever heard about aces or
adverse childhood experiences
or a.k.a chihu trauma if you haven’t let
me explain
in 1995 the center for disease control
and kaiser permanente studied 17 000
adults for two years they were looking
for the effect of physical
sexual emotional and other traumas
sustained during childhood
and their studies showed that indeed
childhood trauma does
cause significant medical conditions
including mental health challenges
and suicide in some in later adult life
but what about a child that’s currently
undergoing trauma
what happens to them what’s the first
thing you think about when you hear
about is suicide
mental illness depression the obvious
low-hanging fruit
while depression certainly increases the
rate of suicide
in children we must examine the
underlying causes of said depressive
behavior
because as far as i know no child was
born sad
and depressed and trying to kill
themselves
something happened in the past few years
in the united states at least
prescription strength antidepressant use
has nearly quadrupled
and in that time frame suicide rates
have continued to soar
how do we reconcile that and so my
argument is that mental anguish
and not mental illnesses are the crux of
most suicides and in children
trauma is the epicenter in the form of
bullying
and child abuse and domestic violence
and racism
and police brutality and toxic
relationships
none of which prescription strength
medications can fix
you know when i started working with at
risk youth i realized that
kids that kill themselves are not really
simply depressed oh no
amongst other things they have been
betrayed
by systems that allow other kids to
bully them and adults to prey on them
like i was
betrayed by parents and caregivers who
for the most part
missed the signs which by the way four
out of five teens who attempt suicide
leave a sign
and a prior suicide attempt is the
strongest risk factor for suicide death
did you know that suicide is second only
to accidents as the leading cause of
death for kids age 10 through 34
or that african american kids age 5
through 12
are twice as like us as twice as likely
as the white counterparts to die by
suicide
or that lgbtq youth particularly trans
youth
and indigenous youth across the globe
all have a high rate of suicide attempt
one word trauma
yes self-loathing low self-worth
and negative intrusive thoughts are the
key features and the suicide notes of
his victims
and so you asked dr lulu what’s up with
that why is it happening i thought you’d
never ask
you know in the interest of time we’re
going to look at one case miss naika
venant
because a couple of uh two years ago
when i was
still a general pediatrician i quit my
job to examine exactly the answer to
that question
and so miss naika is a 14 year old
female from miami florida
who streamed her suicide live on
facebook only three weeks after
checklist another teen suicide for
alleged sexual assault by family member
betrayal check
while naika used a scarf some kids will
use other personal items like a belt or
a jump rope
but most kids will use firearms often
found at home like my neighbor’s son did
a few years a few weeks ago in san
antonio
for three long hours onlookers watched
and laughed an egg
one of them was actually allegedly her
own mother
then the miami herald described her
death as a lonely death
in the right of the question if naika
felt invisible most of her life
after all she endured countless episodes
of physical
sexual emotional and other traumas while
in a system that at one point placed her
in up to 16
different foster homes in the space of
only
eight months
and perhaps she chose a facebook live
because she finally wanted to be seen
silence shame stigma and a mix of raw
emotions
is the perfect recipe for the worst
outcome of trauma during childhood
but there’s hope yes there’s hope
studies have shown that formerly
suicidal you two can find
one single trusted adult in their lives
will thrive
that sanctuary is what i offer my
patients in my youth suicide prevention
practice
and you too can do the same yes you can
be the one
for the at-risk youth around you and
maybe you can join me in creating a
youth suicide free world
by the year 2025
but that’s around the corner so we need
to hurry first thing to do
look for signs they’re everywhere
remember four out of five
the commoner signs are one asking
questions
writing talking about death most kids
don’t do that
second sign feelings of shame and
hopelessness and worthlessness
third sign recklessness or a loss of
interest in activities they once loved
or just giving away their prized
possessions
second thing you can do offer these kids
empathy
and compassion not judgment and more
medications
third thing you can do talk to him and
for me
talk stands for tuning in to the right
radiofrequency of your child
aka know your kid secondly
ask the right questions what’s happening
what happened never ask why
and i know you’re gonna say this asking
questions about suicide
does not make somebody become suicidal
if anything at all the child will feel
like you care about them
and so i i permit you to ask the right
questions and if you’re going to ask
questions
you might as well listen and so i
recommend you lean in
lead from the heart close the space and
just listen
and of course keep communication lines
wide open
as you get them effective help because
you know one thing that happened
in november of 2015 that day could have
ended very very badly for me
but i started to make some changes in my
life here’s the thing though
i’m an adult i can make changes in my
life most kids cannot
and that’s where you come in and so the
first thing i did was
analyze my situation and i realized that
my antidepressants were making me worse
and the second thing i did was i
realized that my voice is the loudest
voice in my head
and the things i was saying to myself
were not good needless to say i’ve since
changed the way i speak to myself
and the third thing i do is i did i do
rather is
i got myself effective help and by the
help and support and love of my family
members and friends
and numero tris even if we have to carry
him along
i can proudly say that i am so thriving
like my friend d
lamar would say and i do the exact same
thing for my patients
the first thing we do is analyze their
thoughts their traumas
yes we literally name them one by one
and the second thing we do is
uncover their triggers let me tell you
something about triggers
they’re usually within 100 to 200 square
feet from where the child is standing
and so you my friend might be a trigger
and the third thing we do is help them
control the negative thoughts in their
head
by teaching them how to acknowledge the
thoughts
analyze the thoughts for veracity and
then act based on the analysis
and knock on wood my patients today are
all so
thriving and so do me a huge favor
next time you hear about suicide in a
child i want you to think of
three words trauma trauma trauma
always look for underlying factors
always ask the right questions avoid
jump into a diagnosis of mental illness
or giving medications because you know
what if a child is being severely raped
by her uncle
or being cyber bullied by their friends
they’re not mentally
ill they have been traumatized
and so in ending i’m gonna
give you my original quote a suicide
attempt
it’s never a cry for attention
it is always a cry for help
and so i’m going to ask you to please
rise and join me in observing 20 more
seconds of silence
in honor of these people we keep losing
every single day
to suicide beginning now
thank you
[Music]
you